Dylan Obrien’s Teen Vogue Photoshoot
I wanted to make I post I could link too whenever someone asks me this~
Seriously. Even if I was hella in shape, really healthy, no one would be asking for health or work out tips from me if I was fat. Stop assuming because someone looks like what society deems as ‘healthy’ or ‘fit’ that they are, it’s a lie, they are try to sell you things and make you hate and judge strangers. Stop buying into it.
These abandoned places are little spooky but stunning
Caring about someone hurts. It hurts instantly without a warning. They take you hostage without knowing it and hold you at the mercy if every unknowingly hurtful thing they do and you can’t be upset. You can’t cry out in frustration because you’re a coward and that’s why you’ll end up alone that’s why there is nothing for you in this life and eighty years seems far too long. You let them walk out away from you with a graceful apathy that sounds like a knife going through the tissue of the heart I just ache. I won’t feel though, I won’t do that. There isn’t a level of caring involved with feeling that I can’t personally muster, not with hope weighing on my shoulders. Hope for everything that I want and don’t have. I want to be so much to someone. I want to be kept and held prisoner with no chance of facing the vast expanse of quiet where there are no real connections and time races you without caring that you won’t win. For all my bravery I’m so terrified and young. I’m so lost despite my knowledge and wisdom and I want my hand held. I want to not face the great darkness of everyday knowing it’s empty and filling it up with words and sarcasm and witty banter. I want things I won’t possess and it terrifies me because I don’t know how I know but I do. I feel it like a endless gnawing in my core that bites harder every time I hold the door for someone who wants to leave me. They don’t really remember. They knew you once when you mattered. But their stories happier and they smiled better at the end anyway.
Nobody knows how many times I.have to come to terms with the idea of living. There.is this part after this that sounds so much better and sometimes if I.close my eyes and wait I can smell the sweet grass and feel the warm air and feel the sunshine on my eyelids but when I have to.open my eyes again this world is so much darker. The Sun isn’t right and the air is stale and I don’t have anything here. Most people have a tether keeping them, some tie to the waking world. I don’t. I want to desperately though, I want to have something there to keep me… they say that nobody is an island, but I am.